The Truth of the Matter Is
by Duchess Michelle
Summary: Post Chosen, Pre NFA, Alternate Season 5 of Angel. Buffy finds out that Spike is alive after Andrew let's it slip when he returns to Rome with Dana. Buff then goes to LA to see him. What happens next? Do they get back together?
1. Chapter 1

**The Truth of the Matter Is…**

Back story: Post-Chosen. Middle of Angel: Season 5, Buffy is in Rome with Dawn and Andrew when she learns of the slayer, Dana, in Los Angeles. Everyone knows the story of Buffy's distrust for Angel and Wolfram & Hart but what if Andrew told Buffy that Spike was alive again?

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**Chapter 1 – Something to Know**

Buffy anxiously awaited Andrew's return from Los Angeles. He had called her and she had given the order for him to bring Dana back to her. Buffy didn't trust Angel now that he was with Wolfram & Hart. She waits for Andrew in the training facility's medical ward where Dana can be properly cared for. She's been sitting and standing and pacing for nearly an hour trying to figure out what Andrew wanted to tell her. When she had talked to him on the phone he had sounded deathly calm when he said _"There's something you need to know Buffy."_

Her mind kept replaying his words until she could discern nothing further from them, but she was still confused as to what she would _need_ to know. He wouldn't tell her over the phone which led her to believe that it may have had something to do with Angel. She hoped there wasn't bad news about Angel… like him turning evil or something. While she didn't trust him she didn't think he had gone evil either. Mostly Buffy just didn't think that Angel could be given vital information because of his connection with Wolfram & Hart.

She looked at the clock on the wall behind the desk. A small framed nurse sat quietly looking at papers or doing something on the computer. Buffy couldn't tell which and she didn't really care at the moment. The clock read _12:20 am. _Buffy couldn't believe she'd been here since 11 pm. "Where the hell is he?" she said in a slightly annoyed tone.

Suddenly the doors swung open and there stood Andrew with Dana just behind him and being held firmly by other slayers. Buffy stared at him for a moment. Quickly she asked, "Where have you been? I've been waiting for over an hour." She was angry with him for making her wait, but she didn't pay any more attention to him as her eyes darted to Dana. Buffy took a few quick steps to Dana and looked in her eyes.

It was plain to see that the girl had been hurt. She was damaged and Buffy wasn't sure if it was even repairable, but she had to try. They were all a family now, the several hundred slayers around the world fighting the good fight. They were there for each other and now this girl needed Buffy.

Andrew started to make some pathetic apology, "Sorry Buffy…" She could hear it in his voice that it wasn't going to be a good apology. Andrew was truly good now and a part of the team, but she didn't have time for apologies. She waved a hand to quiet him. Buffy then turned to the nurse at the desk. "We'll see the doctor now," Buffy said firmly.

The nurse stood up calmly and walked out from behind the desk and around the corner to go find the doctor. A minute later the nurse came back with the doctor. The nurse sat down again behind the desk and the doctor walked to Buffy and looked closely at the damaged slayer. As Buffy watched him look her over she stood aside a little and said to the doctor, "She'll need to be taken care of, and I want to know if there's any possibility of normalcy… normal for a slayer that is." She smiled as she thought to herself about 'normal'.

Buffy didn't care about being normal any more. It was something she knew she'd never have and she had finally come to terms with that. She was the leader of the slayers and they looked up to her. She did her best to do right by them and make the right decisions. Since Sunnydale there hadn't been any major apocalypses to avert which was a relief to Buffy as well as her closest friends.

Those friends weren't with her now… not in the same capacity that they had been back at home anyway. Xander was playing a major role in the Watchers' Council. He was in charge of training the non-magical soldiers that they had in their growing armies. This included helping Giles breaking in new watchers as well as helping with the young slayers which were part of the more magical. Buffy didn't get to spend much time with Xander nowadays but she did see him some. Xander and Willow saw more of each other than Buffy saw of either of them or they saw of her. Willow had traveled the world for a short time after the Hell mouth was closed, but after discovering some covens and not learning much more than she already knew she returned to England to help Giles with the training of the Wicca's that would be helping to fight the good fight.

So they were all back together now and yet they were far apart. The gang wasn't the same as it had once been. This was largely in part of the added responsibility of hundreds of slayers as well as the distance between them, but it wasn't a physical distance. There was something else between them now and no one spoke of it.

Buffy spoke to the doctor for a few moments longer as a nurse took Dana to a room. Buffy's eyes followed the damaged slayer and the nurse while speaking to the doctor. The doctor explained to Buffy what would likely happen. "If she is treatable it will take some time to get her back to a workable mental state, but… if there is nothing I can do to 'fix' her, so to speak, then we will keep her here to be cared for and monitored." Buffy shook her head in agreement and let her eyes fall back to the doctor.

"Thank you doctor," she said calmly. "That's all for tonight. I'll stop by in the next couple of days." Buffy turned to leave and put a hand on Andrew's back for a second to initiate their conversation when she looked back at the doctor again and added, "Oh, do call me if anything changes. Good night."

Her hand pushed the door open and she led the way out to the street. Buffy looked around and saw a bar just down the street that was still open. "Ok Andrew. We're going to talk about this thing I _need _to know before going back to the apartment and being faced with lots of Dawnie questions."

There was a smirk in the way her eyes lit up at the joke about Dawn pestering him about whatever he had to say and Andrew noticed that. He hadn't spoken a word to Buffy since he arrived with Dana at the hospital and he was doing his best to put off the inevitable conversation with the blonde slayer. At the moment he was feeling a bit nervous over the matter on his mind. There was a tiny fleck in his soul that told him he should just keep his mouth shut, but the bigger part of him was insisting, 'Tell her! Tell her!'

Andrew sighed as they walked down the street to the bar and followed Buffy as they entered the dark, smoky room. His sigh had not gone unnoticed by Buffy, but she decided to ignore it seeing as it was of no importance to the matter at hand. She took a look around the place and saw an out-of-the-way empty corner booth. Buffy sat down across from Andrew and gave him a look to tell him to start talking.

"What's to know Andrew?" she said trying to remain calm as she felt her heart beat faster with anticipation.

Andrew looked at her a little nervously and said, "Drinks first?"

"Ok, but then you've got to spill." Buffy walked up to the bar and got two beers before heading back to the booth and sitting down across from Andrew again. She gave him his beer and set hers down in front of her without drinking it yet. "Now Andrew…"

Andrew took a swallow from his beer before looking at the slayer and readying himself to say what needed to be said. "You know Angel's really trying to do good there," he said trying to make some small talk about his trip to LA as he worked up to the real topic of conversation.

Buffy was incredulous. "Please tell me that's not the 'something' I need to know. Andrew I don't want to listen to your small talk about LA…so get to the point." She was serious and Andrew could tell.

"I'm getting there Buffy. There's just other stuff that came first…well stuff that explains it a little anyway."

"Explains what?" Buffy asked feeling confused. "What's going on Andrew?"

"Well…" Andrew was beginning to feel there wasn't any easy way to say what had to be said. "You know how some of us have been able to come back from the dead?"

Buffy was getting irritated with Andrew's cryptic angle on the conversation. "Get to it already." Buffy was feeling more confused and could feel one of her hands wandering over the wooden booth. The seat wasn't particularly comfortable and that only mirrored how uncomfortable she was with not knowing whatever it was that Andrew thought she needed to know.

"Spike's alive!" He spit it out quickly and flinched back against the booth half expecting Buffy to hit him.

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A/N: Don't forget to review!! Please! They feed the muse and let me know if you like the story!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Shock & Awe**

Buffy silently drank her beer and stared into oblivion. She couldn't believe what he had said. _Spike was alive. How? When? Why?_ Somehow she was remaining surprisingly calm. It was surprising even to her as she continued to stay quiet even when her beer was empty. She acknowledged Andrew's gesture to get her another beer by shaking her head 'No' and keeping quite still.

"Buffy?" Andrew waved his hand in front of her face.

"Huh?" She said coming back to the present situation.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

"Yep," she said quickly and closed her mouth once again.

"You ready to leave?" he asked next.

"Yeah, I guess so," she said, managing to say a few more words this time.

Andrew left some money on the table and walked out with Buffy. He kept a close eye on her feeling a little worried that she may have gone into some kind of shock over the news.

They were quiet all the way back to the apartment and Buffy remained quiet even after they got back. She walked to her room in a daze and went through the motions of getting ready for bed.

When she had changed into pajamas she sat down on her bed and got under the covers. She remained sitting up as she tried to sift through her thoughts. Buffy sat upright on her bed and looked out of the window on the opposite wall. It was a nice window and it had a view of the rising sun. A view she was awake to see when she stayed sitting in her bed through the wee hours of the morning.

As she watched the sun rise through her bedroom window she began to come to terms with what Andrew had told her. When she finally realized that Spike was really alive a huge sigh escaped her. She felt as if some weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "What do I do now?" she asked herself.

Buffy was thinking, _Do I go to LA?_ Or _Do I call him? Or Angel?_ Then, "Oh God! How do I tell Giles?"

Thinking of Giles Buffy's memory went back to the morning Giles had found her curled up in a chair in the Sunnydale High library researching portals. That night she had found a feral Angel and wanted to find out if there was any way he could have returned from the demon dimension she had sent him to. This thing with Spike was different in her mind because, one, she didn't kill him, and two, he hadn't been sent to a different dimension, at least to her knowledge.

With her mind racing over the many things it could about Spike Buffy didn't feel tired. She looked to her side and glanced at her clock realizing it was now mid morning. She got out of bed and went out to the living room. Buffy looked into the kitchen and saw no Andrew. "Must still be asleep," she mumbled to herself.

She looked over at the couch and saw the tousled blonde hair of the young watcher. Buffy leaned over the back of the couch and shook Andrew's shoulder, "Andrew. Andrew."

Buffy watched as he groaned and rolled over to look up at the girl who was waking him up so unceremoniously. She almost felt pity for waking him up when he was probably going through some jet lag from his recent trip to LA. "Sorry Andrew…there's just so much I want to talk to you about…concerning Spike." She smiled a little smile at him and then walked around to sit on the couch at his feet.

Andrew groaned some more and moved his feet so he too was sitting up on the couch. He stretched his arms above his head and yawned. He started to rub his eyes too but when he saw the gesture was lost to Buffy he gave it up and asked, "So what do you want to know?"

Buffy looked at her hands for a minute. They were clasped in a girlish gesture that she didn't remember ever practicing in her life. After the minute passed she glanced over at Andrew and then back to her hands. "Well…I kinda want to know everything." She finally looked over at Andrew and held his gaze. "I want to know how he's back, and why, and how long he's been back, whatever you know."

Andrew stared at her for a few seconds, holding her gaze. "Ok…but first I'm gonna need some coffee. I don't know how much I know and if it's going to satisfy your questions, but I'll tell you what I know."

Andrew got up from the couch and walked to the bathroom. He needed to use the bathroom before coming to the kitchen for coffee.

While he was in the bathroom Buffy went to the kitchen and started the coffee. She looked at the clock on the oven to see how late it was getting. _"Ten o'clock,"_ she thought to herself. Buffy knew that Dawn would be getting up soon and she wanted to be done talking to Andrew then. Buffy wanted to be the one to tell Dawn what was going on. After she talked to Andrew Buffy thought she would have a better idea of what she wanted to do about everything. At the moment she was still in a state of shock & awe. It was still quite unbelievable that Spike was alive.

A minute or two passed before Andrew came out of the bathroom. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a mug from the cabinet. The coffee was nearly ready and he reached back to the cabinet to get Buffy a mug. Both mugs were set on the counter as Andrew and Buffy looked from the coffee pot to one another while waiting. Andrew was just preparing to say something when the coffee pot beeped its readiness.

Buffy pressed a button and lifted the pot up and poured the black liquid into the two mugs. She was grateful to be getting some caffeine after her sleepless night, but she was still feeling a bit energized from the news. She got some creamer from the fridge and sat down at the table.

Andrew picked up the sugar and got two spoons out and sat down with Buffy. As Andrew prepared his coffee he steadied his voice and got ready to tell Buffy the little that he knew. He just hoped that it would be enough to satisfy her questions. Spike hadn't even wanted Andrew to tell Buffy that he was alive, and Andrew had a distinct feeling the blonde vampire would not be too happy if the slayer decided to pay a visit to LA.

Buffy sat quietly waiting for Andrew to begin. She didn't want to pressure him or rush him. For now she just tried to keep some patience at hand when it came to news of Spike, no matter how badly she wanted to know more.

"I arrived in LA and went to the firm to see Angel. We knew he'd be getting info on Dana at some time or another and we didn't want him making a wrong move. When I got to the office I saw Spike. I greeted him and was very surprised to see him. He was surprised to see me too."

Andrew sipped his coffee as he allowed a certain aspect of the storyteller to come out. It aggravated Buffy a little but she dealt with it as she was eager to know more about Spike.

"We had a meeting about Dana before splitting up to search for her. Spike headed out away from the rest. I followed him wanting to catch up some on how he'd been and such. He had an instinct on how to find the slayer…something to do with the fact that he'd killed two in his days as William the Bloody."

Andrew shrugged and sipped from his coffee more.

"I was with him amongst some abandoned warehouses or something. He asked about you…whether you knew that he was alive. I said no. He told me not to say anything. I think he wanted to tell you himself."

Andrew pondered the meaning of that for a moment.

"Somehow we got separated. He ended up finding Dana, but in her crazed state she thought that he was someone from her past. So she cut off his arms and legs as punishment for what he'd done to her. Only it wasn't Spike who had done those things to her. She had transposed his image into her memories."

Buffy got a look of concern for Spike when Andrew said he got cut up. He noticed it.

"Don't worry. He'll be fine. Well…that's when I took Dana with the help of other slayers as back up. Of course I also mentioned your distrust of Angel. That's what happened while I was in LA."

Buffy looked at him seriously for a moment. Her face remained emotionless until she stood up obviously upset and glared at Andrew. "That's all!?"

She continued glaring. "I thought you'd have something more…answers…and all you have is a story of what happened while you were in LA. Andrew…"

A door opened and Dawn walked out into the living room. "Buffy what's going on? Why are you mad at Andrew?"

Buffy looked at Dawn for a minute still feeling her anger flaring. It took her a moment to calm herself before she could say anything to Dawn. She looked at Dawn and tried to smile, but she had a feeling that Dawn was seeing right through it.

Dawn looked from her sister to Andrew. Andrew was cool now and stayed with them from time to time when he was passing through Rome. This morning things felt different though. Dawn could feel the tension radiating from Buffy and she knew there was something going on. "Buffy, what is it?" Dawn asked with worry beginning to enter her voice.

The worry in Dawn's voice wiped out Buffy's anger towards Andrew. All she wanted to do now was comfort her sister. Buffy looked at Dawn and softened her expression. "Dawnie…you better sit down to hear this."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – Decisions **

It had been days since Buffy had explained to Dawn that Spike was alive. Dawn took it better than Buffy had expected, but Buffy was still reeling from the news herself. She felt like Dawn and Andrew were constantly watching her and worrying about her too. It bugged her but she tried to remain calm. Each day since Buffy had found out about Spike she thought about him. How could she not? Before she found out her life was beginning to attain some normalcy. Now here she was thinking back to Sunnydale and wondering why another dead lover was brought back from the dead and she didn't like it.

Buffy was confused about why Spike was alive again and she knew there was one way to find out for sure. She kept pushing the idea aside though in hopes that she could move on with her life. Spike hadn't been a part of her life for over a year now alive or not, so why should she go stepping back into his. She battled with herself telling herself that it wouldn't do any good to do that.

Despite that she found herself thinking of him more often and entertaining what ifs to no end. Trying to push all her thoughts about Spike aside Buffy walked out to the living room late in the morning to talk to Dawn and Andrew. She was thinking she needed a good night out on the town to get her head screwed on straight. Buffy needed to be focusing on work, work that included a disturbed slayer. Then again she needed an escape and going out was the perfect way to get away from thoughts about Spike and work.

"Dawnie," Buffy called to her sister as she walked into the living room.

"Yea Buff," Dawn replied.

There was a slapping sound on the coffee table. Dawn and Andrew were playing a game of Egyptian Ratscrew. Buffy had played a few times, but didn't really like the game. Then there was the whole thing where her reflexes gave her an unfair advantage and Dawn and Andrew would scowl at her when she played with them.

"I was thinking…" Buffy began.

Dawn quickly turned around. "Thinkin' bout what?" Andrew kept playing taking advantage of the distraction when Dawn turned back to the cards and exclaimed, "No fair. Cheater!"

Buffy sighed and they both stopped the bickering. "Better," Buffy said with a little smirk. "I want to go out tonight. You guys wanna come with? It'd be more fun that way." Buffy smiled lightly at the two who looked at her with surprise.

"Wha-at?" Andrew asked. "You want to go out?"

"That is what I just said Andy."

"Sure Buffy," Dawn replied a little hesitantly.

Buffy eyed her sister, knowing that they had been worried about her. "It's ok Dawnie. I want to go out. I need to get out for a while." Buffy looked at them both for a moment more. "So, will you two be so kind as to help me have a good time tonight?" Buffy asked playfully.

Dawn stood up and walked to her sister. She gave her a hug and said, "I'll do anything for you Buffy. You know that." Dawn pulled back and smiled at her big sister. Then she stood beside her, turning to face the couch. They both waited to hear Andrew's compliance.

Andrew looked the Summers' women over and knew he couldn't stand up to them. He never could, but why would he want to. Going out with them would look good and probably be fun if not a little trying at times if the subject of conversation broached girl stuff. He plastered on a big smile and said, "Count me in." His smile was genuine as was his enthusiasm.

Buffy smiled and looked at Dawn as she tried not to laugh at Andrew's enthusiasm. "Well, I think I need some coffee," she said once she had staved off laughter.

Buffy headed for the kitchen, leaving the other two to chatter away about the night out. As she entered the kitchen and found the still warm pot of coffee she glanced back at the younger two on the couch. They were indeed chattering away, and quietly too. Buffy knew they were probably talking about her. She hadn't been herself since learning that Spike was still alive, but now she'd decided that she wanted to be herself again. How she was going to do that she didn't really know, but her first step was going out and having some fun. She needed to relax and get her mind off of Spike, if that was possible. Buffy turned back to the coffee pot and reached up into the cabinet for a clean mug. She easily found a striped one and set it on the counter. Pouring the coffee into the mug and sitting at the table quietly she stared out the window and thought about what she was going to do.

One decision had been made easily enough, but that was the decision to be herself. It was something that was more easily managed than the much larger decision looming over her head. She heard the other two chattering and getting back to their card game. They didn't know about the decision she was trying to make. No one but Buffy knew what was in her mind.

She drank her coffee slowly and pondered the options. First, there was staying in Rome and moving on with her life as if she never knew. Second, she could call LA and talk to Spike, or possibly Angel, about this. Then there was her third choice. Buffy could go to LA. She could see him and talk to him in person. The most sensible thing to do, the thing Giles would probably tell her was what she should do, was stay in Rome and live her life. A part of Buffy could do that. She could manage it and go on living her life just as she should, but then there was a little nagging in the back of her mind. That nagging told her to go to LA. To see him. To talk to him.

The right thing to do, Buffy didn't know what that was. The thing she wanted to do, she knew exactly what that was. She wanted, more than anything, to see him again. So that was the decision she was trying to make and as she finished her coffee she made the decision. Buffy knew what she was going to do. She wouldn't tell the others just yet though. "Maybe I'll tell them tonight," she said to herself as she got up from the table and washed her mug.

Afterall, Buffy had decided to go to Los Angeles, and that was something that the others would want to know and should know. Buffy just didn't want to go into it right now. No, right now all she wanted to do was go back to her room and take a shower.

Buffy passed Dawn and Andrew on her way back towards her room. She told them what she was doing and continued on to her room. She grabbed her towel from the back of the door that separated her bedroom from her bathroom and then walked into the bathroom. Walking up to the sink she brushed her teeth and looked at herself for a moment. She turned to look at her body from different angles as she brushed her teeth. "Hmmm…" she said as she looked in the mirror. If I'm going to LA I think I should start running again. Going to LA was a big decision and she knew she wouldn't be able to leave right away. She'd need to explain things to Dawn and Andrew and make a call to Giles. It would probably be necessary to stop in London on her way to LA too. She had a feeling Giles was going to want to talk to her in person as well. All of the arrangements would be made in the next few weeks, giving everyone time to get used to the idea. The one thing Buffy was set on though…she wasn't going to call LA ahead of time and tell them she was coming. This would work better if it was a surprise visit. The few weeks would also give her time to make sure everything was taken care of in Rome. Buffy spit in the sink and rinsed her mouth out. Then she walked back to her bedroom.

She changed into some running clothes and walked back out to the living room. Dawn and Andrew both looked at her wondering what the hell she was doing, but they didn't say a word. It was impossible to miss the looks though and Buffy explained, "I thought I'd go for a run first." She walked out of the door and down the stairs to the street. Her run took her through a park and a plaza and down little streets and alleys. Buffy enjoyed the time by herself, with her thoughts. It was good to be able to think clearly. The run helped her with that. She was able to see things more clearly and she knew she was making the right decision. She needed to see Spike again, now that he was alive.

Sometime later Buffy walked back into the apartment with a slight shine to her skin from the productive run. She smiled at the Andrew who was looking through some books and papers and looked around for Dawn. Andrew noticed her looks and without even looking up he said, "Kitchen." Buffy looked into the kitchen and saw Dawn making herself a snack. She walked up to stand beside her sister and draped a sweaty arm over her shoulders. "Whatcha makin'?" Buffy asked with a grin.

Dawn gave Buffy an exasperated look and tossed her arm off of her shoulders. "Eww! is the only word I'm saying about that." Dawn smirked and then said, "Just thought I'd make some soup for lunch. I'm toasting some of the bread we got from the shop yesterday too."

Buffy smiled and rubbed her grumbling tummy. "Sounds delicious."

Dawn couldn't help from giggling and Buffy joined in. Once the giggling had died away Buffy took a step back and said, "I better hit the shower first though."

The younger Summers nodded at the older one and smirked as turned back to lunch preparations. Buffy walked out of the kitchen, swatting at Andrew as she passed him, and went for her bathroom. She passed through her bedroom and was back in her bathroom. Her towel was already there and she quickly shed her clothes and hopped into the shower. The shower was quick, but it offered her more time to consider how she was going to go to LA or tell Dawn and Andrew that she was going. Somehow Buffy knew that she wouldn't need to convince them so much as she would Giles. Several minutes later Buffy stepped out of the shower, wrapping her body in her towel and her hair in another, smaller one. She walked back into her room and dried herself off and got dressed. It wasn't anything special right now, so she just put on some jeans and a t-shirt.

Walking back out to the rest of the apartment Buffy headed straight for the kitchen. She stopped at the table though and glance at the books Andrew had been poring over earlier. They were books on psychological trauma and how to move on or repair the damage. 'Dana,' Buffy thought. It gave her a warm feeling inside to know that Andrew cared so much.

A few more steps and she was in the kitchen. Buffy smiled at her two young roommates making the last touches on their simple lunch. She took a deep breath and released it. "That smells so good Dawnie," she said with a smile to her little sister.

Just a few minutes later they all sat down around the kitchen table and started eating their lunch. They were quiet for the first few minutes. As they settled in to eating they managed more conversation though. The first subject was going out tonight. Buffy chatted cheerfully about it and it seemed she was rubbing off on the other two, who were a little reluctant at first. After chatting about it for a few minutes they decided to go out to dinner at a lounge where they could do some dancing too. Dawn mentioned one about 20 minutes' walk from the apartment that sounded perfect. The night's plans were settled and they moved on to other subjects of conversation. Eventually they broached the topic of Spike. While Dawn had been calm when she first heard the news she admitted now that it was a shock.

"It's just so strange, Buffy. I'm sure you know that as well as I do… probably better. I just don't know what else to say about it." Dawn got a little quiet.

Andrew didn't have anything to say really, but he decided to say, "He seemed happy." There was a pause. "That's all I can think to say about him. He seemed happy… which is good." Andrew felt a little awkward talking about Spike.

Buffy was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, that is good, Andrew. I'm glad that he's doing well. I can see that helping Angel would be a good thing for him." Buffy smiled at the thought of the two of them working together. 'They probably hate it,' she thought. Another minute or so passed in silence and Buffy took another bite of her toast and a sip from her glass of water. Finally she decided now was the perfect opportunity to tell them about her big decision concerning the whole Spike issue. She got serious and looked at them both. "I came to a decision today and I think both of you should hear it." She watched their faces contain the questions they held about what her decision could be. They looked at her and she at them, all silent for a few seconds. Then Buffy began by saying, "I've thought a lot about Spike these past few days. I know that he would have wanted to tell me that he was back himself. He might have been scared or nervous or a lot of other things, but I know that I still care about him. I know that I need to see him…not so I can be with him, but to know it's really him. Seeing him will give me something, maybe some peace so I can move on with my life. Whatever it gives me, I made the decision today," Buffy took a deep breath and continued, "To go to LA."

The other two looked at her blankly. She explained herself, telling them that it's what she needed and that she would be leaving in a week or two once she knew that everything here was ok. Dawn and Andrew remained quiet while she spoke about it. When she was stopped for a moment Dawn got up the nerve to ask her, "Are you sure about this Buffy?"

"Very sure, Dawnie." Buffy gave Dawn a sweet smile.

Dawn didn't put up any arguments. Andrew didn't say a word about it. Buffy stopped explaining herself for now, and lunch was decidedly over. They all cleaned up and then went on to do other little things throughout the day.

That night they would still go out and have a good time. That night Buffy let Spike and her plans for LA move to the back of her mind. She relaxed and had fun with her sister and Andrew for a few hours. When the few hours were over, Buffy left to go on patrol while Dawn and Andrew stayed at the lounge and danced some more. Patrol didn't turn up anything and Buffy headed back to the apartment. She was tired and went to bed, easily falling asleep tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: All rights for the original characters go to Joss Whedon & FOX & Monster Inc. Got it?

I haven't been putting A/N's on this story yet, but I'm starting _right_ **now_. _So, I know that I posted chapter 3 yesterday, but I thought I'd wish everyone a nice Thanksgiving (for all of you that celebrate it). If you don't celebrate it, well, I'm not either this year, but I wish you a happy Thursday all the same. :) Enjoy the update!**

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**Chapter 4 – Making Arrangements**

A week passed by and Buffy began to make preparations for leaving. She went to the training facility about every other day to work with the girls. She also visited the medical center once more to see Dana and talk to the doctor.

"Has there been any change?" Buffy asked, glancing at the doctor and then peering into Dana's room. She looked back at the doctor with a glint of sadness in her eyes. She felt for Dana, empathized with her.

"No, Miss Summers," he replied solemnly.

"Is there likely to be?" Buffy asked, doing her best to quell her fears, preparing herself for the likelihood that there was little or no chance of recovery for Dana.

"There is a small chance she could recover, but," he paused a moment in which Buffy's muscles clenched nervously. He continued by saying, "I don't think it's likely." He patted her shoulder kindly. "I'm sorry Miss Summers."

"So am I. So am I," Buffy said quietly.

Buffy shook off her emotions and talked to the doctor for a few more minutes before getting ready to leave.

"I'll be going out of town for a while. I want you to call me if anything changes with Dana or if something comes up with one of the other girls."

"Of course Miss Summers," he assured her.

"Here's my cell phone number. Call anytime, if something comes up," she said seriously as she tore a piece of paper with her number on it. Buffy smiled at the friendly doctor. He was a good man and he had helped the girls in Rome a lot.

They said goodbye and Buffy headed back to the apartment. As she walked back to her place of residence, for now, she thought about Dana. Buffy could understand some of what the young slayer was going through. She could still feel what it was like when Glory had taken Dawn, just like it was yesterday. Catatonia had been a comfort at the time, an easy escape. Over the years she had learned to deal with life though, but she found herself wishing she could help Dana in some way. She wished there was something more that could be done for the girl.

When she was back at the apartment she showered and changed. Then she found Andrew standing up from his books at the table in the living room. She walked up behind him and slapped his shoulder playfully. "We need to talk."

Her voice was serious and a serious slayer was something Andrew feared. Buffy knew this and used it to her advantage. She took him over to the couch and they stood by it for a moment. "Andrew, I'm gonna ask you for a favor." Buffy pushed him lightly so that he was now sitting on the couch.

"O-okay," he stuttered.

Buffy bit back her desire to laugh at him. That would do no good now. "You're gonna call Giles for me."

Andrew nodded, but mid nod he got a puzzled look on his face and said, "I'll do it Buffy, but…"

"But why?" Buffy asked, a little menacingly. "Is that what you want to know?"

Andrew nodded meekly.

Buffy smiled, "Because, I'm leaving for LA soon and you're gonna need another slayer in town."

Andrew still felt confused and his expression showed his confusion clearly.

Now, Buffy was just irritated. "God, Andrew." She sat down beside him. "I want you to ask Giles for another slayer, one with some experience." She sighed and spoke nicely to him now. "The ones here in Rome now…they're young and fresh. They still need to be taught, trained." She looked at her hands and spoke. "Ask for Faith or Kennedy or maybe Rona or Vi. They're all good and can help with the teaching."

She stood up from the couch, her back to him. She took a few steps and stopped, turned her face a little and added, "Don't tell Giles why I'm leaving. I'll be in London soon to explain it to him myself. I need to see him before I go to LA anyway." Her voice was soft, as if she was pleading with him. As she walked away back toward her room she heard him say,

"Sure Buffy."

Buffy liked Andrew. He was frequently annoying, but he had matured a lot since they fought the First. He pulled his own weight now and that was something Buffy appreciated. She felt better knowing that Andrew would be around to help the girls, but she would never tell Andrew that for fear it would go to his head.

There were still a few loose ends to tie up in Rome, and of course the dreaded trip to London, before Buffy would be going to LA. She was a little anxious to leave, but she wanted everything to be OK while she was gone too. The safety of the girls was still Buffy's number one priority. It was her job to teach them what they needed to know to be good slayers. Whiles she was gone she wanted to know that they would be in good hands. She was curious who would be coming to Rome to take her place with the girls here. It had been a few months since she'd heard from Faith, and the last Buffy had heard of the other surviving slayers from Sunnydale was that they were in London with Giles. She was pretty sure that they had gone off to protect other highly demon populated cities by now though.

Buffy sat down on her bed and thought about what Rome really meant to her. In the beginning it was a fresh start, a place where she could just be Buffy. That didn't last for long though. Demons came looking for her, wanting to fight and kill the famous Buffy Summers. None had succeeded, of course, but they keep coming for a while. Then young slayers started showing up and then Andrew came to town. So much for just being Buffy. Deep down, though, she knew she wouldn't be able to get away from being the slayer, ever. As more slayers showed up, fewer demons came around to fight her. There was still the occasional demon that came looking for Buffy or any slayer at all. Buffy came to realize that Rome was just another chapter in her life as the slayer.

Out in the living room Andrew picked up the phone and called Giles. He listened to one ring, then two, then the sound of someone picking up.

"Rupert Giles' office," sounded the young female voice.

"Yes. This is Andrew Wells, in Rome. I need to speak with Mr. Giles."

"He's in a meeting at the moment. You can leave a message for him. What is the call regarding?" she asked.

"Tell him it's about Buffy Summers." Andrew knew that would get his attention, fast.

"Yes, sir, I'll have him on the line for you in just a moment," the woman said, sounding slightly hurried. "Please hold."

Andrew smiled. He was put on hold and silently cheered himself for his brilliancy. Giles would come to the phone if he thought there was news from, or even about, Buffy.

"Andrew," sounded Giles' voice. "What is it?"

"Hello Giles." Andrew was cheerful at the prospect of talking to the great watcher.

Giles didn't want any of Andrew's nonsense though. "Out with it, Andrew. Tell me what's going on with Buffy. I don't have time for nonsense."

Andrew sighed in defeat. He couldn't argue with Giles. So, it was straight to business, as usual. "She's leaving town for a while. She's not sure how long she'll be gone so I'll need a temporary substitute to help with training the girls. Oh, and Buffy will be coming to London shortly to speak to you about the details of her trip. We'll keep decoys in place as usual, but I still need another slayer to help with training." He wanted to put everything on the table, so Giles would have less to argue with, for now.

"Ah…" Giles sighed and cleaned his glasses with a handkerchief. "I see." He knew Buffy well enough to know she put Andrew up to asking for another slayer with experience to help out in Rome. He also knew she wouldn't be coming to London to explain herself if it wasn't important, very important. "Very well, very well. Let's see who's available." He clicked a few keys on his computer and brought up the information he was looking for. "Faith would be too conspicuous; the demons would know Buffy was gone." Another click and then, "Vi is in Paris. Kennedy is still in South America with Willow and Rona is in the states. I imagine those are girls Buffy would approve of having in Rome." Giles smiled lightly.

Andrew gulped and said, "Yeah, those sound like good choices."

"Yes, well now…Vi is the closest to you in Rome. She doesn't have a lot going on in Paris either, so I'll send her your way."

"Thanks Giles. I'll let Buffy know. I'm sure you'll be seeing her soon."

"Yes, I'm sure I will. Is there anything else, Andrew?"

"No, that's all."

"Alright. Goodbye, Andrew."

"Goodbye, Giles."

Click went Giles' receiver.

Click went Andrew's receiver. Andrew sighed and looked back at Buffy's door. He decided he would tell Buffy about Vi later. As of right now he didn't even know when she would be coming.

Buffy scurried about her room, hours later trying to pack a bag for London. 'I've got to go see Giles,' she told herself. 'I've just got to talk this out with him.' She wasn't being organized in her packing, rather she was being quite unorganized tossing articles of clothing into a duffle bag from across the room. She stood at her dresser and looked for things she might need while in London's muggy climate for a few days. Then she walked over to her closet and found a few more pieces of clothing to toss into her bag. Crouching down to look in the bottom of her closet she grabbed two pairs of shoes, one comfortable pair of tennis shoes and one pair of less comfortable heels.

Just as she tossed the last thing in her bag and began zipping it up there was a knock at her bedroom door. "Who is it?" she asked, nonchalantly.

"It's Dawn."

"And Andrew."

"Oh and oh," she said quietly to herself. Then louder she announced to the two outside her door, "You can come in."

They practically threw the door open and fell through it, both trying to go through the doorway at once. "Easy there, kids," Buffy said, smirking a little. "In a rush to tell me something?" she asked, glancing at them both before finishing with her bag. "Oh, did you talk to Giles, Andrew?"

Dawn and Andrew looked a little sheepish at the first question, but Andrew managed to regain his speech, and a little confidence, at the second question. "Yeah." He nodded.

Buffy gave him a 'And?' look and Andrew went on, "And…" he said the word with emphasis, "Vi will be coming from Paris to help out." He didn't go on to tell her that Giles pretty much knew Buffy was up to something.

"That's good." Buffy looked at Andrew for a second. 'Is he hiding something?' she asked herself. "Did he say anything else, Andrew?" Buffy asked sternly.

"Not really…" he trailed off for a second. He caught a glare from Buffy and went on to say, "Well…he did say…he seemed to know that you put me up to asking him for another slayer." Andrew averted her gaze now and waited for her response, expecting anger or something of the sort.

"Oh," was all Buffy could say. "Well, he knows me too well for me to keep anything from him. That's why I'm leaving for London. Tonight."

* * *

**Endnote: **Please review. I have yet to get a review on this story yet, and reviews really make me smile. Its just a small gesture that takes only a minute and it really shows us authors that you care about the story. Thanks again for reading and check out my other Spuffy fic if you haven't already **Father of Mine**_. xoxo __Duchess_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – London Calls**

"_Not really…" he trailed off for a second. He caught a glare from Buffy and went on to say, "Well…he did say…he seemed to know that you put me up to asking him for another slayer." Andrew averted her gaze now and waited for her response, expecting anger or something of the sort._

"_Oh," was all Buffy could say. "Well, he knows me too well for me to keep anything from him. That's why I'm leaving for London. Tonight."_

Dawn looked at her, not sure of what to say or think of this. Before she thought about it she threw her arms up and said, "What?!" She knew that Buffy was going through a lot with learning that Spike was 'alive' again, but she didn't think that she'd be rushing off so soon. It seemed like Buffy had been taking her time, getting ready to leave for LA.

Buffy bit her lip, trying to come up with something to say to Dawn. "I have to Dawnie. I have to get this all worked out. I'll be back in a few days and then I'll work out when I'm going to LA. I'm still not sure of when that'll be…but it'll be soon."

Buffy walked up to her little sister. They stood there, quiet for a moment. Andrew just watched them for a minute. Buffy tucked a strand of hair behind Dawn's ear. Neither of the young women said a thing to or even looked at Andrew. It took him another minute before he realized that it was a private moment and he quietly, as quietly as he could since he bumped into the doorway on his way out, left the room.

The sisters were left alone. They remained silent for a few more minutes.

"Are you ok with this Dawn?" Buffy finally asked.

Dawn bit her lip, in true Summers' women fashion, as she tried to think about the situation. Buffy waited patiently. She wanted Dawn to be ok with this. About a minute had passed when Dawn silently nodded her head. Buffy smiled a little.

"Good, because you are still the most important thing to me," Buffy said in all seriousness.

Dawn gave her a look that said, 'Really, now?' but she still didn't say anything out loud.

Buffy gave her a look back and said, "What?"

"Since when have _I_ been the _most_ important thing to you?"

Buffy looked injured. Dawn elaborated saying, "The world?" She looked down for a second and then back up at Buffy. "The world has always been the most important thing to you Buffy. You're always doing what you need to do to save the world."

"Dawnie…" Buffy started, but Dawn cut her off. "It's ok Buffy. I understand…and I'm beyond grateful. If you didn't save the world none of us would be here." Dawn looked down again. "But this is different Buffy. This isn't about the world. This…" she looked up again, staring into Buffy's gray-green eyes, "This is about you. You and Spike."

"Ah…" Buffy sighed. "I don't know what to say Dawn. I love you and you are important to me, but you are right…about the world thing. As for the other part…" Buffy reached out and stroked Dawn's hair, "Well…I love Spike." Buffy smiled, but there was pain in the smile, the pain of memories and lost time. She sighed again. "This is about me and Spike. I know that too, but there's more to it too. I don't know what the future holds. For the first time in my life as the slayer I don't have this huge weight on me…sure I still lead and all but…" She turned around, looking at her room for a few seconds. Still facing away from Dawn she said, "It's different now and I'm just hoping that we can be different too." She turned around to face Dawn again. "I have to do this. I have to try to make things work with him."

"I know, Buffy," Dawn said. "I like Spike, too. Remember?" Buffy nodded in response. "I want you guys to be happy, I really do…but I want you here too. It's selfish, I know, but I'm just going to miss you. That's all." She looked at her big sister. "Well, that and I don't want you to get hurt."

Buffy smiled. It was nice to hear Dawn say that she cared. She knew that she did, but still, it was nice to hear it sometimes. "I know you care Dawn, and I hope I don't get hurt either." She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her sister. "I love you Dawnie."

"I love you too Buffy," Dawn said, wrapping her arms around her sister.

They held each other in the tight embrace for a few minutes, silently letting their fears disappear for now. All that mattered was that they cared about one another and they had said it before anyone went off gallivanting around the world like Buffy was about too.

Buffy was the first one to pull away. She stroked Dawn's hair and spoke quietly. "I've got to go Dawn. I need to get to the airport."

Dawn let go of Buffy and nodded. "I understand. Just be careful." She looked at Buffy as she reached for her bag. "I know it's only London and Giles, but still…"

"Evil always finds me?" she quipped.

"Yeah," Dawn replied, more serious than Buffy's little quip.

"I will," she said, putting her bag over her shoulder and leaning over to kiss Dawn's forehead. "You be careful too." Buffy began walking out of her bedroom with Dawn following quietly.

When they were in the living room Dawn remained quiet and Andrew, surprisingly, had nothing to say either. "Wow! It's really all silent on the western front, isn't it?" Buffy tried to lighten their mood. "It's no big you two. I'll be back in a few days…I promise." Buffy went and hugged Dawn again, and ruffled Andrew's hair playfully. "Take care of things for me Andrew." Buffy trusted him more than she was willing to say at the moment. She knew that she'd only be in London for a few days, but things were getting eerily close to seeing Spike when she would be going to LA. It was all starting to hit home just how close she was to seeing him. "Bye guys," Buffy said one last time, walking out the door and going downstairs to a waiting cab. Even Rome had cabs, the only time she ever took one though was when she needed to go to the airport, and Andrew had been kind enough to call one for her while she and Dawn were having their heart to heart.

_Los Angeles, California_

Angel and Spike were bickering, as usual, in Angel's office when Wesley came in. He rapped gently on the office door before walking in all the way. Then he cleared his throat. The two vampires stopped fighting and looked at the former watcher.

"Hey Wes," Angel said, with a little awkwardness.

"'ello, mate," Spike said, with his usual grin.

"Good morning Angel," nodded to Angel. "Spike," nodded to Spike. "I'm glad I've got both of you here. Something's come up and we'll need both of you to work on it."

Angel rubbed his hands together, hoping that it was something exciting. Not much had been going on lately and he'd been feeling cooped up at the office. "What is it Wes?"

Spike could only sneer, "Oooh," he drawled, "Let's hope it's somethin' excitin' for the ponce." He didn't even look at Angel, but if he had he would have seen a glare that could cut through glass it was so sharp.

"Well, actually, you might think it's exciting or you might think it rather tedious. It all depends on how you look at averting a demon war between two clans." He glanced at the two vampires who suddenly gave him all of their attention. "Gunn came to me earlier with a new development with one of our clients."

Angel sighed, "What kind of client are we talking about here Wes?" Angel didn't want to be helping out the bad demons any more than he had to.

"The normal variety, nothing too evil. Something you can handle, Angel," was all Wesley offered at the moment. "Gunn can tell you more, but from me…you two will be taking a trip to deal with this one." Wesley eyed them both, waiting for one of them to ask where they'd be going. He knew this would get interesting, and he expected Spike to ask where first.

Angel looked over at Spike who was apparently fascinated with his chipping nail polish more than the matter at hand. "Where exactly will _we_ be going Wes?"

"Therein lays the most interesting part for you two." Wesley paused, giving Spike plenty of time to pay attention, which he did not. "Rome." Now he had Spike's full attention.

"'sn't that…" he looked at Angel, who was squirming in his seat, and then back at Wesley.

"Where Buffy is," Angel finished for him. "Yes." He was looking down, at his hands and his knee. Finally looking up to meet Wesley's gaze he said, "Are you sure that this is a good idea?"

Wesley nodded. "It's a big city Angel, and you two are going on business not pleasure or any reason to go looking Buffy up."

"Right," Angel admitted.

"To 'ell with that," Spike practically barked. "If I'm gonna be in Rome, I'm gonna see Buffy while I'm there. I'm not bloody…"

"Spike," Angel interrupted him. "We have business to take care of in Rome." He looked at Spike, staring him in the eye now. "And we don't want to mess up Buffy's life now."

Spike sighed. "Yeah, right. Business first. _Then_ pleasure." This argument was so far from over. He wouldn't give up on seeing Buffy while they were in Rome.

"Right then. Wes, just send Gunn over to talk to us before we have to fly out."

"Yes, I'll do that." Wesley left the office.

The two vampires were quiet for several minutes. Then Gunn came in about 15 minutes later to explain the details of the business they would be taking care of in Rome. When that was over with they went to depart for Rome on the private Wolfram & Hart jet.

_Flying to London_

Buffy had been on the plane for a few hours already. She had flipped through the pages of one of her magazines and taken a nap. Now she was awake and wondering how she was going to break the news to Giles. The plane would be landing in a few hours and he would be meeting her at the airport or would he send someone to pick her up? Buffy wasn't to sure about that.

She stared out the window and thought about her life. 'How did things get so mixed up so quickly?' Her life certainly had been shaken up a bit since she found out that Spike was alive or back from the dead. She wasn't even sure what to call it. She sighed and rested her chin in the palm of her hand as she continued to stare out the window. Everything looked so peaceful from high up in the airplane. She wished her life could be this peaceful. Well, only sometimes did she wish that life was more peaceful. When it was peaceful she was wishing for some excitement. Her lips curled because she knew that no matter what she liked slaying, she craved the excitement, the rush. Faith had told her that once and she had tried to deny it. She still tried to deny it, but she knew it was the life she was meant for now. There was no fighting it. She stared out the window for a while before nodding off again.

Her nap lasted until there was a voice on the intercom announcing that they would be landing soon. "London calls," she told herself. It had been a couple of years since she'd last been in London. A part of her was happy to be coming back and she was very happy that she'd be seeing Giles again. She buckled up her seatbelt and patiently waited for the plane to begin its descent. It did and within 20 minutes the plane had landed and she was preparing to get off the plane along with all the other passengers.

When she was off the plane she made her way through the crowds to find the front of the airport. She had her one bag, which she had brought on as carry-on, over her shoulder. A few minutes later she was at the front of the airport and scanning the crowd for a familiar face. Then she stopped as she laid eyes on him. There was Giles. He had come to pick her up himself afterall. He was a welcome sight to her eyes. They met in the middle and stood quietly facing each other for a minute or two. She spoke first saying, "Hi."

"Hello Buffy," he said, choking back his emotions. "It's been too long," he allowed himself.

"Yes it has," she agreed. Then, without a second more to think about it, she stepped a little closer and leaned in to give Giles a hug. "I missed you Giles."

"I missed you too Buffy."

They hugged for a moment before separating and looking at one another again. "Let's get back to my place and talk, yes?" he said, raising an eyebrow at the last part he had asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "That sounds good." They walked to the car, remaining fairly quiet except for the pleasantries of how everyone was doing.

_Rome, Italy_

Angel and Spike stood in the hallway just outside the apartment where Buffy was now living. They waited to knock, both feeling anxious about seeing her for the first time in so long.

"You gonna knock, or do I 'ave to do it?" Spike finally asked.

"Okay, okay," Angel said, raising his fist to knock. He still took a minute to actually knock.

When he did knock the door almost immediately opened to a robed Andrew. "Andrew?" both Angel and Spike asked in shock.

"Yes," Andrew said. "Oh! It's so good to see you two," he declared happily. He waved them into the apartment and said, "Come in." They both accepted the invitation and stepped inside.

"Is this where Buffy lives?" Angel asked.

"Yes," Andrew replied, looking at Spike for reassurance of what Angel was up to. Spike just shrugged his shoulders, letting the events play out. "But she's not home right now. She went out." That's all Andrew offered at the moment.

"Oh," Angel said.

"Do you know where we can fin' her?" Spike asked. "We're 'ere in Rome for a short time an' I was kinda hopin' to see her while I was 'ere."

Andrew looked him over. "I like you Spike. You're a good guy." Andrew smiled lightly, and then looked at Angel. "I don't really know Angel though, but you both seem good to me." He paused, sighing dramatically. "Buffy's out with her boyfriend, the Immortal." Andrew gave them this bit of info, knowing that they each had a history with the Immortal and it would only serve to piss them off that Buffy was with him. Truth be told Buffy wasn't even in Rome though, but he didn't see the need in telling them the truth.

"Oh," Spike said, disappointed. He looked at Angel and Angel looked at him. "What about the little bit? Is she around?"

"No, she's with some friends for the night. Actually I'm getting ready to go out too, so if you'd excuse me…" Andrew darted into an adjoining room and came back a few minutes later in a clean tux. "I'll get ready. Now as for what you two should do about Buffy…she's moving on, living her life and I suggest you do the same. Maybe one day one of you will end up catching her, but for now I think the best thing you can do is live your lives. She is."

Andrew went to the door and met two beautiful Italian girls, kissing them both. "Goodbye gentlemen." He left the two vampires shocked and dumbstruck.

_London, England_

Buffy sat down in Giles' apartment. She was wringing her hands. He was in the kitchen getting them a couple of drinks. She had asked for water. Alcohol wouldn't be of help to her in explaining this.

Giles came back and set her glass of water on the coffee table in front of her. He just looked at Buffy as he sat down in a chair diagonally across from her. He didn't want to prod her to give him the news she came all this way to tell him. He knew that she would tell him when she was ready to say it, so he waited patiently. Patience was something he had grown to use a lot in his time with Buffy. He remembered his days as her watcher fondly, and even missed them on occasion. Nowadays he had a much greater responsibility to train all of the slayers that came through London and they all came through London.

She took a gulp from her glass and steadied her nerves the best she could. "I'm not sure how to start this other than to just come out with it." She smiled weakly and looked into Giles' kind, soft eyes. They comforted her. She knew deep down he would understand. "Spike is alive," she blurted out. Then she calmed down somewhat. The worst was over. Now she just had to tell him that she was going to go to LA to see him.

"Ah…" was all Giles could say. He hadn't heard about Spike being alive, but somehow he had thought her news would be worse. As the news of Spike being alive began to sink into his mind though he took off his glasses and cleaned them. He put them back on and looked at Buffy seriously.

Buffy was just waiting for some kind of 'real' response from Giles. 'Ah' was not a standard Giles thing to say to something like this. Of course something like this was in no way standard, even to the slayer and her gang. Despite Angel being brought back from the dead they all knew that Spike was in every way different from Angel, other than the whole having a soul thing. "Giles?" she said.

"Yes," he cleared his throat and sipped from his brandy. "Sorry, just trying to wrap my mind around this one. It's not what I expected you to say…I don't know what I expected, but I didn't expect," he waved his hand, "This."

"I know how you feel. I felt like this when Andrew first told me. He found out when he went to LA for Dana. Spike didn't want him to tell me though, but he did anyway." Buffy tried to smile, but instead laughed. It wasn't a real laugh. It was a tired laugh.

Giles patted her shoulder. "It will be alright Buffy. We'll figure this out. Do you…or does Andrew…have any idea why he came back?"

Buffy shook her head. "Andrew couldn't tell me anything about it. I guess they weren't feeling all warm and cuddly about the details in LA." She put her face in her hands for a second and swept her fingers back through her hair. "That's why I'm going to LA." Now it was all out there. What would Giles say to her now?

"Oh, I see." He got quiet again. "Buffy, are you sure this is wise?"

"No." It was flat, but honest. "But it's something I need to do. I need to see him. I need to get answers about this…and I need to figure things out with him."

"I see. When are you leaving?"

"I'll go back to Rome first, maybe pick Vi up in Paris on the way. She can get used to Rome a little before I leave for LA. I wasn't planning on leaving for another week or so."

"Okay. That sounds good." Giles really wasn't sure what to tell her. He knew he couldn't stop her from going. She had her mind set and that was obvious. He could tell that she needed, at the very least, closure from Spike.

"Yeah? I'm not so sure. I thought I'd come here and you'd try to talk some sense into me, but now you just agree with me." She shook her head. "This isn't like you Giles." Buffy was getting upset with him. She didn't mean to and she wasn't really upset with Giles. No, she was upset with Spike for not wanting her to know he was alive, and she was just stressed out from the whole ordeal.

"And talking sense to you would do what, Buffy?" He looked at her seriously, and then smiled tenderly. She eased up and sighed. "I understand Buffy. I can see that you feel for him. I saw that before the final battle, but then I thought it clouded your judgment. Now…you don't have an impending apocalypse."

"Uh huh," she said, eyeing him. Then softening, "I do care about him Giles." She ran a hand along her neck. "The last thing I told him was that I loved him."

"Oh," he said quietly.

"But he didn't believe me." Her eyes met his. "I don't know if he even remembers, but I have to know. You know?" She shook her head. "I'm so tired."

"Get some rest. We can talk more tomorrow."

"Yeah, thanks Giles." She stood and walked to the guest room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – The City of Angels Awaits**

_Rome, Italy_

Angel and Spike walked into a club and went straight for the bar. They had heard that this was the place where the Immortal hung out and where he would probably be with Buffy tonight. Spike did the talking with the pretty bartender and found out that the pair was dancing on the floor. Before he could head out to talk to Buffy first Angel left him with the demon head they were carrying to avert some demon war. Spike sighed and took a shot from the bar before he left the bar and the demon head without a second's thought about it. All he could think about at the moment was Buffy.

Angel couldn't get out to where they were on the dance floor. Spike caught a glimpse of the girl and got this wrenching feeling in his gut. Was that really Buffy? Could she really be with the Immortal? It looked just like her, but he didn't want to believe that she would be with him if she was in right mind. So she had to be under a spell or his thrall or something, right?

Then Spike suddenly bumped into the tall poof and Angel turned around to face him. "You were supposed to be watching the head." He sounded aggravated and glanced back to where Buffy was dancing with the Immortal, only to see that they weren't there anymore. "Fuck me," he said angrily.

"No," Spike smirked.

Angel looked at him, fuming. "They left Spike. Together. Buffy and the Immortal."

"Oh, fuck," Spike agreed. They both hated this. They walked back to the bar dejectedly, both forgetting momentarily about the head. When they looked up they were standing a few feet from the bar. The head wasn't there any longer. They spun and faced the door of the club. There was some little demon carrying the head away with him.

_Flying from London to Paris_

The next evening Buffy boarded a plane back to Rome. She'd be stopping in Paris in the middle of the night and she would stay there with Vi. They would fly the rest of the way to Rome the next day. Buffy had spoken to Giles some more during the day in London and she felt better about going to LA. Giles did understand, and more than anything he just wanted Buffy to be happy.

Buffy flipped through another magazine and then took out a book that Giles had given her on vampires coming back from the dead and all the possibilities therein. The book was up to date with all the latest cases, which was to say it had Angel in there a few other vampires who had risen again, including Darla. It didn't just have stories of real vampires coming back, but had the chances of a vampire dying and where they'd go and how or if they could come back form such and such place. She flipped through the pages for maybe an hour before she finally closed it and fell asleep thinking about LA and Spike again.

A little while later the plane landed in Paris. She got off the plane and caught a cab to the address where Vi was living. Buffy knocked on the door and chatted with Vi for a bit, before finally saying, "I'm really tired. It's good to see you, but I need to get a few hours in before we catch our flight to Rome later."

"Of course, I totally understand," Vi said cheerily.

She showed her to the pull out couch that was available in her small French apartment and went to bed herself.

_Los Angeles_

Spike settled into his seat on the plane as it made its descent back into LA. It was broad daylight in Los Angeles at the moment, but all he could think about was Buffy. He and Angel hadn't said much about it, but he knew they were both feeling rather strange about the whole thing. On the plus side they had averted the sodding demon war. Yet, there was a weight on his shoulders because of Buffy. 'What if I had just come out and told her I was alive again?' he thought.

They landed and went back to the W&H offices. They were greeted by their coworkers with congratulations about a job well done. Shrugging off the congratulations they slunk into Angel's office. Spike sunk into the couch and Angel stood at the window.

"I think she's right," Angel finally spoke.

"'bout what, mate?"

"…moving on. If she can do it…if she has done it…so should we." His voice was soft and faraway.

"Yeah…" Spike thought about it, but didn't like the idea.

_Rome, Italy_

Buffy showed Vi to the slayers' house. They walked in and were greeted by some of the other slayers living there. Buffy spoke to one named Katie. "Can you show Vi where she'll be staying?"

Then to all of the slayers a few minutes later, "Vi will be around to help you all with your training." Buffy smiled at Vi. "She's a good slayer. She's been through a lot, so I want you all to trust her and follow her lead. Okay?" They all agreed. "I'll be gone for a while. I'll be in LA, but if anything comes up I'll have a number where someone can reach me."

With that said Buffy left and went back to her apartment. The moment she walked in she could sense that something was off. Someone had been there. Someone who normally wasn't around. Then she sensed the slightest trace of vampire.

"Andrew!!" Buffy yelled through the apartment.

He came running. "What?!" he asked, unsure of how he'd upset her so soon. "It's good to have you back Buffy," he said kindly.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm not fishing for compliments Andrew. I want to know who was here while I was gone."

"No one special. A couple of your old friends stopped by looking for you. I told them you were out…with a friend."

"Andrew!" Buffy was beginning to get furious with him quite easily. "Who?!" Then it dawned on her. "Spike."

Andrew nodded with wide eyes. "How'd you…"

"Spidey senses, remember?" she said, sarcastically. She closed her eyes and went to sit down on the couch. "Someone else too…oh!" Her head went down. "Angel."

"Umm…"

"Yes," Buffy said. "I know it was them." Then she realized the whole 'out with a friend' comment. "Andrew?!" She looked up at him seriously. "Who'd you say I was out with?"

He flushed. "The Immortal."

"What?!"

"Well…we had a decoy set up with him."

"Oh…but, Spike…he must think…" Buffy gasped. "Was it bad?"

"No, not really." Andrew tried to make her feel at ease. He didn't want to piss her off. "They were just in shock, I think…didn't want to believe that it was really you. But there is good news…" He stopped as he caught her look of surprise.

"Oh?" she folded her arms. "And what could that be?" she stood her ground to listen to what the young watcher had to say.

"Well…" he swallowed hard, "We know the decoy works. Even Angel and Spike didn't know it wasn't you." He looked at her seriously, trying to remain calm.

Buffy was ready to hit someone, luckily she reigned in her emotions enough to refrain from hitting Andrew. "Yeah, I guess that is good news," she said somberly.

She didn't know what to do or say and Andrew quietly left the room. He wanted to be a safe distance from her right now. Buffy was obviously mad about this turn of events.

While Andrew escaped to some hiding place in the apartment Buffy went to her room and methodically changed into pajamas and crawled into bed. She was sitting up in bed, hugging her knees as she thought about Spike, again.

Buffy kept thinking to herself about Spike being here, in her apartment. She wished she hadn't gone to London now. She wished she had stayed and seen him. What to do now was the bigger question. At the forefront of her mind was this thing, this lie, that Andrew had told Spike she was with someone else. She wasn't though. She hadn't been with anyone for months now, not since she had come to terms with the fact that she still loved Spike. There had been one guy she had dated when she was living in London about a month after the final battle. It was a small fling and they had fun while it lasted, but Buffy never saw it going anywhere. Since she'd been living in Rome she had dated a little, but things had been pretty quiet in the romance department lately. Yet here she was busy in the romance department, just not busy in the way she wanted to be busy. Buffy wanted to be with Spike, not worrying about what he would say when she came to see him or him thinking that she had moved on. 'Oh no, what if he decided to move on too?' The thought suddenly crossed her mind and she knew what she was going to have to do.

She reached over and grabbed the phone beside her bed and dialed the number for the airport ticketing office. "Hello. When is the next flight out to Los Angeles, California?" she asked.

"There will be one out tonight at 6 and it will be arriving in Los Angeles tomorrow morning at 8. Will there be anything else, ma'am?"

"Yes, thank you. I'd like to buy a one way ticket to Los Angeles at the time you specified."

Buffy pulled out her credit card and gave the number to the woman on the telephone. Once that was over she looked over at her clock. 12:00 PM. Buffy grabbed her cell phone and set an alarm to wake her up in a couple hours. That would give her enough time to pack up some things and get to the airport. So, she rolled over and wrapped her blanket around her in hopes that she would be able to get a little sleep.

After tossing and turning for the next half hour Buffy decided she wouldn't be able to sleep. She threw back the covers and reluctantly got out of her warm bed. Slowly she started moving around her room, ruffling her hair some as she tried to figure out what she was going to take with her to Los Angeles. It was time to start packing, and she still needed to tell Dawn and Andrew that she had moved up her date of departure. Buffy knew that it was something that just had to be done; she didn't even contemplate the idea of leaving without telling them. That just wasn't Buffy to leave without saying anything, well, except for when she left home after killing Angel, but that was different. Now she just had to break the news to them and she wasn't leaving much time for a tearful goodbye or any getting used to the idea of her really going to LA.

An hour later there were two suitcases on the bed, packed and zipped, and her duffel bag with some small stuff for carry-on, and she was in the clothes she would wear to go to the airport. "There," she said. "I'm finally packed, but not quite ready…" she trailed off looking at her bedroom door. Outside that door were her sister and Andrew, doing any number of things other than thinking about Buffy leaving for LA tonight. Buffy sighed and looked over at her packed bags. Taking a deep breath she said, "Here goes," and walked out to the living room to talk to her roommates.

She walks out and sees Dawn and Andrew arguing over something on the TV.

"Is not," Andrew said.

"Is so, way so," Dawn said.

Buffy walked up to the couch and took another deep breath, steadying her nerves.

"Guys," Buffy started and they both turned to look at her.

Dawn felt a little startled and in an instant took in Buffy's appearance. "Buffy…are you going somewhere?" she asked.

Buffy smiled a little, not a thing got past Dawn these days. "Yeah, I am." Her eyes wandered down and she forced herself to bring them back to look Dawn in the face as she said this. "I'm going to LA now. Plans have changed and I need to go sooner than I thought."

"Oh," was all Dawn could say.

Andrew kept surprisingly quiet, but he knew he was in part to blame for Buffy leaving earlier than expected.

"When does your flight leave?" Dawn asked quietly.

"In about four hours…so I should get to the airport soon. I just wanted to talk to you two first."

Dawn looked up at her and put on a brave face. This is what Buffy needed to do and she would stand behind her all the way. "Ok, Buffy."

"Andrew…do you have anything you want to say to me before I go?" Buffy asked, looking Andrew in the eye.

"Uh…" he fumbled with his words. "I…uh…guess I'm sorry for lying while you were gone." He looked down.

"Thank you for that Andrew." Buffy looked at him and glanced over at Dawn again. "Just…I'll call Giles when I get to LA. If he calls here before I get to LA just let him know that I'll call him soon." She smiled. "You sure you two will be alright here, just the two of you?" she asked, feeling a little dubious about leaving Dawn with Andrew.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Yes, Buffy. We'll be fine. If we have any problems we'll call you or Giles or one of the many, many slayers living nearby."

Andrew nodded in agreement.

Buffy relented, "Ok, but call me if anything comes up."

Buffy went back into her room and grabbed her bags. Then she came back out and gave Andrew a hug and then a big hug for Dawn. Their hug lasted for a couple of minutes. "I'll call you when I get into my hotel, okay?" she said.

"Yeah," Dawn nodded.

"I love you," Buffy said, picking up her bags and turning toward the door. When she looked back before she walked out Dawn said it back.

"I love you too, Buffy."

_Los Angeles_

Spike popped open a can of beer and started drinking it down. Beer usually wasn't his drink of choice, no, that would be liquor and the hard stuff too. Now all he had at the moment was beer. The sun would be going down soon though and he could get something harder. For now he just slouched into his comfortable couch and turned the TV up a little. He'd found the Soap Net channel and was catching up on Passions. It was only when he felt down that he resorted to Passions, these days anyway. In the days of Sunnydale he would watch Passions just to pass the time. Time was passing just fine in LA. The problem was that he needed to get over the love of his life and he wanted to do it soon. The only thing Spike didn't really think about was that drinking wouldn't solve his heartache. It would only dull it for a little while.

He finished the six-pack of beer he had and the last bit of the episode of Passions. Then he looked over at the clock. "Sunset. 'Bout damn time."

Spike was out the door to find himself something to drink away his little problem.

That problem was Buffy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Doughy Cookies?**

_Los Angeles_

Spike spent hours drinking away his pain in a demon bar in downtown LA. He was still sitting at the bar. His medicine of choice was none other than whiskey. Somehow it seemed to dull the pain and put things into focus for the vampire. Buffy had screwed with his heart enough, granted it was unbeating but still he had a heart. If she was moving on, why shouldn't he do the same? Ah, the nagging feeling in his gut that told him he loved her and couldn't move on to anyone new. She was the one for him and he couldn't get away from that no matter who she moved on to. He held out for some hope that she would come back to him, that she really meant her last words to him.

'_I love you.'_

The words rang in his head as if she'd just said them. He could feel a tingle on his hand where her fingers laced through his. His eyes looked down at his hand and realized that the tingle was a trickle of blood. He'd gone into the bathroom in the bar and smashed his hand into the cement wall. The wall didn't look too damaged, surprisingly, but his hand was a little torn up. It would heal, but he wondered if his heart would.

He ran over their relationship in his mind again as he exited the bar just before sunrise. He went into the tunnels to avoid being caught in the early rays that would soon be coming. They had always brought each other pain rather than comfort. That's what their relationship was about when she'd come back. It was different when he came back with his soul though. He felt that they were closer then. They never had the chance to figure it out because he'd sacrificed his _un_life for the world and _her_.

_LAX_

Buffy sat in her seat, waiting for the plane to land at LAX. She tapped her fingers on the arm rests idly. All she wanted was to be off the plane and finding Spike. She hadn't been able to sleep on the plane because her mind was racing. She kept thinking of him and how he would react to her being in LA _for him_. Would he be happy? Had he moved on?

It had been a little more than 24 hours since she'd found out that he'd been in Rome and Andrew told him she was dating the Immortal. Of all things that Andrew could say or do, why did he have to say that? Buffy hadn't even spent the time to figure out why he said it. She didn't even think it was worth it to be mad at him or to beat him up. It would serve any useful purpose and she had more important thing to do, like getting to LA to straighten things out.

Walking off the plane she made her way through the airport. She got to baggage claim and picked up her checked bags and then went out to grab a taxi. She gave them an address to the Hilton hotel near where she recalled Wolfram & Hart was located. She wanted to be close to the law firm.

She knew now that she'd taken too much time to think about coming to LA in the first place. When she found out that Spike was alive she should have just packed up and left, but she didn't because she had responsibilities. Buffy didn't have the luxury of doing what she wanted when she wanted to do it. People, quite often the world, counted on her. She couldn't make a rash decision like jetting off to see Spike. So, she took a couple of weeks to sort her thoughts out and work through the details of making sure that everything would be ok in Rome when she did leave.

A part of Buffy was quite relieved that everything was set up when she did decide to jet off to Spike. Now she was just worried that she could be too late.

_The tunnels_

The somewhat drunk vampire wandered around the tunnels. He didn't want to go back to his empty apartment and he _most_ definitely did _not_ want to go to Wolfram & Hart and deal with Angel.

"The poof will only make me feel worse…" he said as his boot went through a puddle of water.

He didn't notice the water and kept walking. Drowning in self-pity seemed to be one of the things that Spike could do pretty well, but he didn't think about how pathetic he looked.

No, the only thing he could think about was losing Buffy all over again.

"I have to get 'er back."

"How'm I gonna do that?"

_The Hilton Hotel_

Buffy walked up to the front desk to purchase a room. "Hello," she said to the woman working at the front desk.

"How may I help you ma'am?" the woman asked.

"I'd like a room."

"Let me see what we have available."

"Thank you," Buffy said with a smile. She hoped this wouldn't take long.

"All we have available at the moment are suites. Will that work for you?"

"That will be fine."

"We have smoking and non-smoking. Which would you like?"

"Non-smoking, please."

The woman clicked a few buttons and looked up. "And how long will you be staying with us?"

"I don't know exactly, but more than a few days." 'I hope it's not going to be a quick visit.' Buffy smiled hopefully.

"Very well," the woman pressed a few more buttons and looked back up at Buffy, "Cash or credit?"

"Credit," Buffy said as she handed her the credit card that Giles had given to her for emergencies and missions. 'This is a mission… and an emergency,' she thought decidedly.

"Here you go ma'am." She handed her the key to her room. "You're in 909. The bell boy will take your things up for you."

"Thank you." Buffy said with another smile as she took the key and turned toward the elevators. The bell boy came and took her get her things to the elevator.

She was quiet in the elevator and waited to arrive at the 9th floor. The only sound was the clicking of the light as the elevator moved from one floor to the next. Then there was the ding as they arrived on the 9th. The bell boy didn't say anything as he took her bags to her room. Buffy unlocked it with the card key and walked into the suite. It was big and very nice, definitely more lavish than she was used to. The bell boy moved past her to set her bags in the room and then waited by the door. She turned to look at him for a second and then got out some money to tip him. "Thank you," she said kindly. He bowed and closed the door behind him as he left the room.

"Well now, what do I do now that I'm here?" she asked the empty room as she passed through. She stopped at the window that overlooked the city. She opened the sliding glass door and stepped out on her balcony. "Long time no see, huh?" she asked the city. It had been a long time since she'd been back in LA and she was happy to be back. It felt like home.

Buffy took a few minutes to call Giles and let him know that she had arrived safely. Then she called Dawn and did the same. It was 9 in LA, so it was about 5 in Rome. She didn't talk to Dawn for long and when she was done she changed into something a little more presentable than her comfy airplane clothes, not that she looked like a hobo in the black yoga pants, white tank, and blazer. What she changed into though was more stylish. She now wore a strapless blue top, skinny jeans, and black heels. "This'll knock 'em dead_—er_," she thought happily. She grabbed her black blazer before going to the bathroom to touch up her make up.

_The tunnels_

Spike continued to wander around the tunnels, avoiding going home. He didn't want to go back to an empty apartment yet again. He wanted her to be there. He dreamed of her when he did manage to get to sleep. Most of the time he couldn't sleep, because she wasn't there to help him sleep. He missed the feeling of having her close. He wanted her back. The memories of having her close to him those last two nights before he died haunted him.

"Argh! Bloody 'ell!" he yelled through the tunnel. He was so frustrated with her and himself. More than anything he was frustrated with himself. He would do anything to get her back, but he didn't even know where to begin. He didn't know what it would take to get her back.

"That woman turns me into a poof without even bein' around." He sighed and walked on through the tunnels. He'd wait until night to come out. Thankful he still had a bottle of Jack, he found a crate and sat down. He leaned against the tunnel wall and drank some more, making sure it would last through the coming hours.

_Wolfram & Hart_

Buffy didn't spend much time in her hotel room. There wasn't much to do there and she didn't want to waste time in the empty room while she could be trying to find Spike. The last thing Buffy knew about Spike's whereabouts was that he was with Angel in Rome. So, Buffy assumed that Angel would know something about where she could find him now.

She stood outside of the Wolfram & Hart building in broad daylight and wondered why Angel was working here in the first place. The big building, and what they stood for, gave Buffy the heebie jeebies. After taking in the sight of the huge building she looked forward and walked inside. She had never been here before and she had no idea how to get to Angel, so surprisingly she did the most sensible thing and went to the front desk.

The desk clerk looked at Buffy as she approached. Before Buffy had opened her mouth to ask anything the clerk spoke, "How may I help you?"

"Hi, I'm Buffy Summers. I'd like to see Angel."

"Miss Summers, it's nice to have you here," the woman greeted her. Buffy was surprised that they knew who she was, but she didn't have time to think much about it. "However, Angel is in a meeting right now. You can wait for him or I can have you meet with someone else."

'Someone else…' Buffy thought. It came to her almost instantly. "Wesley!" She looked at the woman and calmed herself. "Is Mr. Wyndam-Pryce available?"

"Just a moment, please." The clerk made a few clicks on the computer and looked back up at Buffy. "He is available Miss Summers. Would you like me to call him to let him know that you are coming up?"

Buffy thought about that for a second before saying, "No, I think I'll surprise him. Can you tell me how to get to his office?"

"Yes, I can do that. Just take the elevator right over there," the clerk pointed to the elevator. "Go up to the 10th floor. There are two floors of offices there. His will be on the first, a left out of the elevator. If you can't find it Angel's secretary is there and you can ask her to help you."

"Thank you." Buffy walked to the elevator and hit the number 10 button. A few minutes later she arrived to the 10th floor. She walked out and looked around her. The space was amazing. It didn't look anything like something she would expect them to be working in. She had only seen the humble office where he had first worked, but Willow had told her about the Hyperion. The Hyperion had an old feel to it from the way Willow described it. This place felt new and rich.

She looked to the right and spotted the secretary, a blonde who was apparently talking on the phone and filing her nails. 'A blonde? Well, that's nothing new for Angel.'

Then she looked over to her left and saw a few offices. She walked over and peered at the names on the door plates. The second door she came to bore Wesley's name. She smiled and knocked gently on the partially open door. She waited quietly for a response from the unshaven man sitting at the desk.

"Come in," Wesley said without looking up to see who it was.

"Is that what you say to everyone who knocks on your door these days?" she asked, walking into the office and stopping a few feet from the desk.

Wesley looked up at the sound of the familiar voice. His eyes were wide with surprise, but he wore a happy expression.

"Buffy! I didn't expect it to be you." He stood from the desk and walked over to greet her.

They hugged for a minute and then released. They smiled at one another and Wesley gestured for her to take a seat.

"I'm curious as to why you're here Buffy, and with no call ahead either." He looked at her kindly, not wanting to sound defensive.

"Yeah, sorry about the not calling. It was a last minute trip and I think it's better if no one knows I'm here beforehand either, I'd rather be the one to tell th—some people that I'm here."

"Ah, yes. So, I take it you're here to see Angel or Spike, maybe even both."

"You know, Wesley, you're getting as good at the knowing stuff as Giles," she said in a slightly playful tone. "You're right though. I'm here to see both of them, more Spike than Angel, but I need to see Angel first." She looked at Wesley for a moment and then glanced at her hands clasped in her lap. "Downstairs they told me he was in a meeting, do you know when he'll be out?"

Wesley looked at her as she spoke, and shook his head at her question. "I'm not sure. I know he's meeting with some high up clients with Lorne. I know he doesn't enjoy the meetings and he is sometimes able to slip out early. You can wait in his office if you'd like."

"You sure he wouldn't mind me waiting there?" she asked a little dubiously.

"He might, but" Wesley hesitated, "It should be ok considering it's you. He'll be happy to see you Buffy, I know that."

"Yeah, I'm not so sure," she said quietly as she stood up.

Buffy waited for about half an hour in Angel's office. She walked around some. The office felt huge, and it was. She stopped to take in the view from the windows as well. That's where she was standing when he came back. She heard him enter, but she waited until he noticed her before she turned around or said anything.

Angel shut the door to his office as he walked in. He caught a glimpse of a blonde by the window and began to say, "Harm-" when he stopped and realized who it was. "Buffy." His tone was deep when he said her name.

She turned around and looked at him for the first time in a little less than a year.

"Hi, Angel," her words were soft.

Buffy stood quietly, waiting for him to respond to her being there in his office. Angel was silent for a few minutes, trying to get his mind around the idea that Buffy was really here and why she would be making an unexpected visit. She'd never come to see him without calling unless something was wrong (i.e. when he came to Sunnydale and stalked her or when Faith was loose).

"Why are you here?" he said in a business cool tone that neither of them expected. He walked over to his desk and sat down behind it.

She wasn't sure how to begin this conversation. Talking about Spike with Angel was something that needed to be broached carefully. They always got so jealous of one another, especially when it came to her. Slowly she moved to sit down in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

"You were in Rome," she said it more as a statement than a question. She looked him in the eye, wondering what he would say.

He gazed at her a second before saying, "Yeah, I was there on business and thought I'd stop by to see you. Apparently you were out though." The last part was tacked on a little coldly.

"I wasn't there at all. I was in London to see Giles." she said matter-of-factly. "So, you have no reason to be angry with me, Angel."

They each stared at the other for a minute before breaking into smiles.

"How'd you know I was there, then?" he asked lightly, but curious all the same.

"Actually… I knew Spike was there first, and then I sensed that you had been there too. However, I'm guessing that the two of you were there together. Andrew told me that he talked to Spike when he came to LA to get Dana." She began warily, but her tone turned more business-like when she mentioned Andrew.

"Oh. And yes," was all that he could get out for a minute.

She looked at him curiously, wondering what he was thinking. He'd never been easy to read. Spike on the other hand she didn't have to read, he usually told her what he was thinking.

"Are you in love with him?" he asked staring at his hands rather than looking at her.

"Angel," she spoke softly. He knew what was coming. He didn't want to look up, but he did. Looking into his eyes she spoke candidly. "I am." A sigh escaped her lips. "I really am." She smiled, having said it aloud now.

"I don't know if I've really said that aloud since he died." She looked at Angel seriously, searching his face for the pain that she did not want to see there.

He looked back at her, knowing that she was speaking the truth and somehow coming to terms with it. He was grateful that she was honest with him about it. "What about that cookie-dough speech you gave me back on the Hellmouth?" he asked softly.

A smile curled on her lips at the memory of that speech. "I don't know if I'm done baking yet." She broke out into a smile, and let out an almost laugh. "I guess the not knowing would mean that I'm not done, huh?"

"I think you're the only one that can know that for sure, Buffy, but" he paused looking at her, taking in the sight of the love of his life fully as he braced himself for letting her go to his childe that she was in love with, "yeah, I guess it sounds like you're not."

"I just know that I love him, Angel. It took me long enough to realize it, God…" she let out an exasperated sigh, looking up at the ceiling for a second, "I just never let myself realize it. I was too afraid to love again, I think. Every time I let myself love someone I got hurt and in the end I got hurt with Spike too, but I think I hurt him more than I hurt myself." She closed her eyes, knowing the pain she had caused Spike. Opening them again to look at Angel she realized this was probably his least favorite subject. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking to you about all of this."

He shook himself from a reverie of staring at her. He had heard her words but they seemed to slide off him at the same time, so he wasn't angry with her. "No, I guess not. You should be talking to him about all of this."

"Yeah, I really should." There was a pause. "Do you know where I can find him?"

"Yes, I know the address for his apartment." He found a piece of paper on his desk and grabbed a pen and scribbled the address down for her. He stood up and walked around the desk to hand her the piece of paper. "It's good to see you Buffy, and…" he paused, taking a deep breath, "I hope he makes you happy."

He was crouched before her chair now. "Thank you, Angel. That means a lot to me." She smiled kindly and leant forward to kiss his forehead quickly. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you again soon." She stood up and he followed suit. They embraced one another warmly, as friends and ex-lovers should. Her face was turned against his chest and she closed her eyes for a moment, appreciating what Angel had given to her here today.

Just outside Angel's office Spike stood, staring through the windowed wall. He could see Angel and he could see him holding the much smaller blonde woman that he knew to be Buffy. He only saw the side of them that showed the back of Buffy and Angel's heads, so neither knew that he was there, witnessing the moment that passed between them.

Without walking in to find out what was really going on, Spike stormed off.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – Sleeping Beauty**

_Demon Bar_

Spike was out drinking again. He had gone to Wolfram & Hart hoping that there would be some assignment he could wrap himself up in for the time being. He needed a spot of violence to get his head back in the game. Seeing Angel and Buffy together though… threw him for another loop.

It was the last thing he expected to see. He didn't even know that Buffy was in LA or that she had plans to come. "Angel," he said the name with seething hatred.

They both loved her, and they had both thought that she had moved on and that the best thing for them to do was move on too. Now he had seen what Angel really thought about that. The first chance he got he had the slayer wrapped up in his arms again, and she wasn't pushing him away. Spike jumped to the logical solution in his mind: Buffy came back to LA to be with Angel.

He had no reason to believe that Buffy even knew he was alive so why would she come back for him. More than the usual anger he would feel over Buffy and Angel he felt pity, a pity that only more drinking would help. So, he continued to think about the love he had for Buffy and the soul mate that he thought he had once found, and he drank and drank until he could drink no more (which was a hard thing to do for a vampire).

_Spike's apartment_

Buffy had taken a cab from Wolfram & Hart to Spike's apartment. It didn't take long to get there, and she quickly paid the driver and hurried into the building. She made her way to the basement level of the building and stood at the door of Spike's apartment.

She tried the door, but it was locked. She knocked, but there was no answer. She looked around and saw that this wasn't an apartment building, but rather a place where Spike had just found a convenient place to live, away from the sunlight. Even the hallway outside his door was dark. She waited a few minutes to see if he would show, but she knew that it was still daylight outside and there was a lot of daylight left. She pulled out her cell phone for the time and saw that it was about 12 noon. "Plenty of daylight left…" she said to the dark hallway around her.

"Well… do I wait outside for him?" She weighed the option in her mind. "Or do I break into his apartment and wait there?" She smiled at the thought of him finding her inside his apartment for him. "He'd prolly be upset too," she said with a smirk and a shrug. A moment later she gave the knob a sharp turn and felt the lock give way. She pushed the door open and tip toed inside.

Peering around the apartment she couldn't see much at first. She moved her hand along the wall until she found a light switch. She flipped it and successfully lit up the room. There wasn't much to the place, but she could tell that it was his. She wasn't sure what it was, but there was a feeling in her gut that just told her it was his place.

Buffy walked around the main room, not wanting to enter any further into his sanctuary at the moment. It felt comfy, and she remembered how he had made up his crypt to be almost homey with the bed and rugs and such things. She smiled and sat down on the couch. She sifted through what little was on his coffee table, mostly magazines and papers of this and that. After a few minutes she put her feet up on the couch and lay out, waiting patiently for Spike to come home.

She looked at her watch. It was about 3 in the afternoon. Wherever he had gone off to he wouldn't be able to come back for a while. So, she decided to turn on the TV and pass the time while she waited.

Before long all of her traveling and stressing caught up with her and Buffy fell fast asleep on Spike's living room couch. Her legs were stretched out as far as they would reach. One hand was under her head while the other was tucked against her chest. It would definitely be a sight for Spike to come home to… the slayer asleep in his living room.

_Just after sunset_

Spike left the bar and began walking home. He wasn't feeling like himself after all the drinking he'd been doing, but he wasn't completely knackered. It wasn't like Spike to get depressed and drunk over the one he loved… well, unless you count the time that Dru left him and he got depressed and drunk. Since then he hadn't really had a reason to get really depressed and drunk. He fell in love with Buffy and while she never really committed herself to him, Spike gave all of himself over to her.

That was it for him. When he loved someone he gave all of himself to that person. For more than a century that person was Drusilla, but ever since he met Buffy he was passionate about her. First, it was trying to kill her. Then, once he realized that he loved her it was trying to win her over.

Now he was walking the streets of LA thinking about her getting back together with Angel. He knew that they had some great love affair, but he thought with all that they had gone through back in Sunnydale would have changed who she wanted to be with in the end.

"Maybe I should have told her I was back… or gone to see her right away… but NO-O! …instead I join forces with the great poof… and he wins her again…" Spike rambled on dejectedly.

He continued walking sullenly, mumbling incoherently to himself every now and then. When he reached his apartment building he walked downstairs and said somewhat loudly, "No! He's not going to win her this time! I will find a way to get her back. She's mine!"

He stopped in the middle of the stairwell and put his hand on the wall. "She'd never admit that though." As those words came out of his mouth he slipped down the last few stairs. Suddenly he caught a whiff of an all too familiar scent. It was vanilla and something uniquely her. Spike shook his head. "It's not her though." It never crossed his mind that she could actually be there.

A few more steps and Spike put his hand on his door. The door pushed open easily. Buffy had never closed it all of the way. "Who the hell…" Spike began to ask when the door swung open and he laid eyes on the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

His feet were frozen to the spot for several minutes. He took unneeded breaths while trying to focus on the sleeping beauty on his couch. When he had regained some of his senses he walked quietly over to the couch and knelt by the couch where her head was lying.

He looked over her sleeping form for a few minutes before lightly tucking some hair behind her ear. She sighed, but remained asleep. He smiled and brought his hand to her face. He cupped her cheek in his palm and brushed her soft skin with the pad of his thumb. She wriggled a little, but was still fast asleep. He had to smile again at how cute she was when she wriggled.

Finally he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Mid kiss she began to stir a little more and Spike backed off gently and leaned back on his heels to watch her for a moment. He wondered at how she could turn him to mush. He ran his hand through his hair, loosening the ever-present gel, and sighed.

"What the bloody hell?!?" he exclaimed quietly.

Spike stood up and stared at the wall for a few seconds before his gaze fell once more to the sleeping beauty on his couch. She looked so peaceful while she slept. He knew that peace would not stick around after she awoke. It was never peaceful when they were together. Even when they were friends, or playing with the boundaries of friends and something more, things were not peaceful. And yet he knew he would have to wake her sooner or later. Half of him wanted to wake her now, and the other half wanted to watch her sleep.

He wanted to keep the peace for as long as possible, but peace between a vampire and the slayer was not to be. Buffy slowly opened her eyes and saw the figure standing over her. She opened her eyes more and stretched her arms. She looked up and wore a small smile on her lips, but she did not speak.

All the feelings that rushed through him at just the sight of her somehow rushed through him once again as she put on the faintest smile. A smile could make him feel things he never thought he'd feel in his entire life, much less the afterlife he had now. And yet here he was looking down at her and he couldn't help but soften his expression. He couldn't hold onto his anger toward her. He couldn't think of anything other than how gorgeous she looked and how badly he wanted to kiss her again.

Without another thought about it he knelt down and kissed her firmly on the mouth. It was slow at first, but Spike knew no boundaries and the kiss deepened quickly. No hands, no words, just lips and tongues working at each other. The kiss went on for a few minutes, each dueling for some level of control before Buffy had to breathe. She broke the kiss reluctantly by pushing her palms to Spike's chest.

His heart soared when he was kissing her, and it sank when he felt her push him away. He cast his face downward, ashamed of forcing himself onto her. That only lasted a few seconds while Buffy regained some semblance of a normal breathing pattern and then put her hand to his chin. She tilted his face back up to look at him.

"I missed you," she said earnestly.

He looked at her with a slightly bewildered look in his eyes. Buffy thought it quite endearing.

"Did you think I wouldn't miss you?" she asked.

Spike remained quiet. He couldn't find the words to say to her at the moment. 'What can I say?' … 'I missed you too sounds like the Poofter.' So instead he just stared back into her eyes intently.

Buffy looked at him and knew that she was still in love with him. She'd known that when he sacrificed himself. A part of her knew that she loved him before that moment, but she had been stubborn. Then she found out that he was still alive and it knocked the wind out of her. Now she had another chance. This was her chance to make things right with Spike, if she ever could. What would she do with her chance?

…**to be continued…**


	9. Chapter 9

Summary: No demons, no fighting. There's finally some peace and quiet to be had, and it gives Buffy and Spike some time to talk and figure things out. But, do they need to figure out what they really need alone? Or can they do it together?

**Chapter 9 – Peace and Quiet**

…continued from Chapter 8 – Sleeping Beauty…

_Spike's apartment_

It was quiet in Spike's apartment. Neither Buffy nor Spike was talking at the moment. Buffy gazed into Spike's eyes as she slid her hand to his cheek to cup his face. Spike gazed back at Buffy and wondered how they ever got here.

The last thing he wanted to do was ruin the moment with words, but the silence was almost unbearable. He felt her thumb caress his cheek and he could feel the warmth of her palm begin to warm his flesh, but he remained silent.

"I love you Spike."

Her words were quiet, but they were true. He remembered the last time she said them too. Right at the end she told him that she loved him. He didn't want to believe her then. If he had he knew he never would have gone through with what he knew he had to do. It was as much about saving the world as it was about saving her. Telling her that she didn't love him was a sure way to get her out of the Hellmouth alive. He wanted her to live. She had to live, and she would have to live without him.

He didn't like the idea of her going on with her life without him, but it was the only choice they were left with at the time. In that moment he made his decision and he didn't look back. He died so that the world could go on, so that her fight would have been won. He never thought that he'd be here now, with her. He never dreamed he'd be given a second chance at his unlife, much less a second chance with her. Yet here he was faced with both.

Spike looked into her eyes. He looked deep and he looked long. Neither spoke for what felt like hours, but was only a few minutes. It was a few minutes too long for Buffy apparently because she broke the silence with a sigh.

She dropped her hand from his cheek and looked at him with indignation. "Don't you have anything to say to me?"

He was stunned.

_How can he not have anything to say? I just told him that I love him and he doesn't have anything to say. I can't believe him!_ She rambled on in her mind and didn't realize that Spike was coming out of his daze.

Spike was struck dumb when she made her declaration. He didn't expect to find her in his apartment and he really didn't expect her to come all the way to LA to tell him that she loved him. He didn't know what to say. And dumb was something that he could be quite often when it came to Buffy and his feelings for her. He was always doing something wrong when it came to her, and now it would appear that not saying anything was something wrong too.

"Buffy… baby…" he began as he moved to sit on the couch with her. He reached out and lightly touched his fingertips to her chin.

She looked into his icy blue eyes and gave a little pout.

He couldn't help but smirk when he saw her pout. Then his smirk turned to something else. There was a desire burning in his eyes. That pout of hers always drove him wild. It was something about that lower lip sticking out that reined him in. Without thinking twice Spike pressed his to Buffy's heatedly.

The kiss began quickly and fiercely. Spike's hands ran along Buffy's arms as his lips claimed hers. He traced her lower lip with his tongue, asking for entrance.

Buffy felt gooseflesh appear in the wake of Spike's hands on her arms as she parted her lips to let his tongue in to mingle with hers. She ran her arms around Spike's neck and linked her hands together to pull him closer. The last thing she wanted to do was let him go right now. She wanted him closer. It had been too long since she had felt his body on hers. She moved closer until she was straddling his lap and it was difficult not to feel how his body reacted to the closeness of hers.

Eventually she had to break the kiss to breathe, but this time she didn't push her palms to his chest. Instead she simple broke the kiss and leaned her forehead against his for a few seconds. Then she nestled her face in the crook of his neck where she could murmur another "I love you" against his skin while she continued to breathe heavily until her breathing returning to normal.

He finally smiled when she nestled her face in his neck. He couldn't believe the way she made him feel to this day. The passion never faded in all the years. _God how I love this woman._ He knew it. He wanted to say it. He wrapped his arms around her back, holding her to him. Then he whispered the 3 little words, "I love you."

In an instant her head snapped back and she was gazing into his deep blue eyes. For a minute she searched his eyes as if she only half believed him, but she quickly stopped. Then a wide grin came over her face. "Oh God, Spike. I've missed you so much. I didn't know how to go on living without you. I was so stupid before. I've loved you for so long, and then I only said it at the last moment possible. I'm so sorry for being so stupid." Tears were beginning to flow from her eyes now, making them look even greener. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come back. Can you ever forgive me?"

He stared at her in wonder and brushed away the tears. He planted a light kiss on her lips. There wasn't much to forgive on her side. She had forgiven him for a lot worse, but right now he knew she needed him to say it. "All's forgiven, love." He kissed her a little more firmly and then stopped to say, "We're together now and that's what matters."

She nodded and smiled. There was a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she said, "Uh huh." She planted light kisses along his jaw as she spoke in between them. "Together…" Kiss. "And alone…" Kiss. "And in your apartment…" Kiss. "And together after so long…" She continued to kiss down his neck and then back up to his ear. She whispered, "Don't you think we should take advantage of all that?" She then chose to nibble on his earlobe.

Spike audibly groaned when he heard Buffy's question and felt her nibbling on his lobe. That was always a soft spot of his. Buffy was still straddling his lap and his erection was beginning to press even harder against his pants. "Buffy, pet," he began but couldn't complete a thought.

She stopped for a second. When she didn't hear him continue she pulled back to look him in the eye as she ground her hot core against his erection, letting a soft moan pass through her lips. "Aww, is Spike too distracted to tell me what he wants?" she teased. She ground against him again letting her soft moan go straight into his ear before she whispered, "You'll have to tell me what you want Spike."

He nearly growled when he heard her moan right in his ear. He quickly flipped Buffy onto her back and pressed her into the couch. "I'll tell you what I want," he ground out as he rubbed his throbbing erection against her clit.

Buffy yelped playfully when he flipped her. She felt a spasm when he rubbed her clit and she moaned more sharply. "What?" she rasped.

He put her lips right beside her ear as he said huskily, "You."

Her eyes shot open and met his. She pulled him in for a kiss filled with nearly desperate passion. "I need you Spike," she murmured against his lips. "I need you now," she said more urgently, pawing at his shirt until she successfully pulled it over his head. She tossed it to the floor and immediately went for his belt.

She had just undone the belt when Spike's hands went to hers to stop her. She frowned and he smiled. "We're not stopping," he reassured her. His hands slid underneath her shirt to raise it over her head.

She smiled shyly at the misunderstanding. Then she raised her arms to let him pull her shirt off. When it was gone she was left bare chested since her strapless top was one she didn't wear a bra with. She quickly kicked of her heels and listened as they hit the floor. She watched as Spike moved to do the same. Her hands went back to his pants.

He stopped her again. "I'm doing you first," he said with his trademark leer.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Fine, but then I get my way of things."

He grinned. "Can't wait," he countered.

His mouth went down to her chest where he began to kiss all around her breasts. Slowly his hands moved down to hold her waist. He fastened his mouth to one nipple and sucked gently for a minute. Then he sucked a little harder and harder until he heard a gasp from Buffy. When he got the desired reaction he switched to the other breast and repeated his actions. While working on the second he slowly worked her pants undone and slid them over her ass. He released her nipple and stared into her eyes as he pulled her pants down the rest of the way. She was left in a black lace thong and he began to play with the thin material at her hips.

Buffy quickly swatted his hands away from her thong. "Not yet," she said playfully.

She used her strength to roll them off the couch and onto the floor. Now she was straddling him. "My turn," she said with her playful smile. She leant forward to nibble at his lips, but she pulled back and trailed kisses down his chest. When she came to the top of his pants she looked up into his eyes. She sat up a little and quickly pulled his belt out of his pants. She tossed it aside. Then her hands were back on his pants. She rubbed his erection through his jeans with one hand while the other unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. Her hands then went inside to caress him.

He groaned when he felt her rub him through his jeans. "Buffy," he gasped. His gasp turned to a moan when her hand was on his flesh. He moved his hips up to meet her hand on instinct.

She smiled and pulled her hands out for a minute. She could see the disappointment written on his face at the loss of contact. "We have to get rid of these pants," she said, sliding down his legs until she was at his feet. A look of awe seemed to be on his face when her gaze wandered up his body and met his eyes. Quickly she grabbed his pant legs and began pulling at them.

Spike felt her tug a little harder when he had to lift his hips and then his legs so the pants would come off completely. He smiled down at her and there was awe. He was in awe of her. They'd never been like this before. They'd never made love and it made him more than a little nervous, but nervous was the last thing he wanted Buffy to think he was feeling. It had never been about love for them. It was always about sex and the comfort it could bring them both. This time was different though. He could feel it when he met her gaze as she crawled back up his body and straddled him so that she was sitting on his stomach.

"I guess it's a good thing you don't breathe, huh?" she joked.

He smiled and placed a hand at the small of her back. The other hand he ran through her hair for a moment while they gazed into one another's eyes without saying a word. Then he dropped his hand, running it down her body, through her perfectly shaped breasts, across the span of her toned belly, and then stopped at her thong. He ran a finger along the inside of the tiny fabric.

"Such a small thing between us now," he said playfully.

Buffy stood up and slid the thong from her body. When it was off she dangled it over his face for a second as pondered how she was gonna do this. She decided to drop her panties on his face and then back away from where he was laying on the floor. A giggle escaped as she watched him.

Spike groaned. He looked through the little thing that was over his face and then he took a deep breath. _Buffy._ He sighed. Now she was being playful. _Kitten wants to play._ He could play too. He tossed the thong aside and quickly got to his feet. He looked around and realized Buffy had left the room.

"Hide and seek then?" he called out. There was nothing there but quiet, but he didn't worry. He knew that he would find her. He always found her.

Buffy covered her mouth to keep from breathing too loud, and to keep herself in check so as not to laugh and give herself up too soon. She smiled against her palm and watched as Spike walked past the closet door.

When she had gotten up and run off she had found his bedroom within seconds. It was only around the corner from the living room and kitchen area. Once she was in the bedroom she quickly took in her options and chose the closet. It smelled like him and she could feel her heartbeat slow down from the calming affect of his scent. Somehow it wasn't so strange.

Spike walked into his bedroom. He didn't think that she would have gone anywhere else. There wasn't much to the place anyway. He could have easily reached out and sensed her. He knew she was in the room, but he didn't want to find her too quickly. He wanted it to seem like he was giving her a chance. Just then he caught sight of the closet door slightly ajar and he knew.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are…" he sing-songed as he stood between the bed and the closet.

Buffy slowly stood from her crouching position, but she remained in the closet. "Why don't you come and get me?" she countered.

Without another word Spike stalked into the closet, throwing the door open the rest of the way and pinning Buffy against the wall. "Will do, pet, will do."

She didn't struggle against him. To the contrary, she looked into his eyes confidently.

There was silence for a moment. Neither spoke but instead looked into the other's eyes and knew. They just knew that they wanted the other more than they wanted anything else. And there was love written in the blue eyes staring into the green as much as there was love written in the green eyes staring back into the blue. There was finally a two way street here and they both knew it.

Then Spike leaned in real slow and pressed his lips to Buffy's. He began soft and gentle before easing his tongue into her mouth and devouring it. His grip on her arms loosened. One hand was now pressed against the wall while the other went to the small of her back and pulled her body flush with his.

Buffy moaned softly at the gentleness of the kiss. Her arms went around his neck again as she tried pulled herself even closer to him. She could feel his erection throbbing against her body and she couldn't wait any longer.

"Spike… need you… now…" she murmured against his mouth with a groan as she began to walk them towards the bed. When she felt them hit it she kept pushing until they fell onto it with her body falling on top of his. She never lost a beat though as she continued to kiss him more and more passionately.

His hands roamed over her back as he reveled in the control she had. He liked it when his girl took control, but he would want some back before too long.

The kiss broke and Buffy panted for breath. Spike took this opportunity to flip her onto her back. He opened her legs and positioned himself over her dripping pussy. "Now," he said in a demanding growl, but still he waiting for her small nod. When he got it, he swiftly pulled her onto him, both sighing in unison.

Spike proceeded to pound into Buffy at a desperate pace. It had been so long, too long, and he didn't have his usual control. When he felt her walls begin to tighten against him he used all his will power to slow the pace.

It slowed to an excruciating slowness. Every movement was exact. Buffy could feel every little thing and it was driving her wild. She was so close to a release and he was drawing it out.

"Spike…" she rasped.

He knew what she wanted, what she needed. Rather than speaking he claimed her mouth with his and stopped her from speaking further. His tongue caressed hers as he quickened his pace again. Thrust after thrust, faster and faster until he was pounding into her at a pace no human would be capable of keeping.

No matter the pace Buffy loved everything Spike did to her body because it was him. She moaned as she felt her climax claim her. Her walls tightened around him and she wanted him to follow her into oblivion, and she had an idea of just what to say to bring him over the edge.

"Spike," she began in a soft whisper. "I love you."

Those 3 little words did it. They sent him over the edge. They took away his control. He followed her into oblivion. His last few thrusts grew erratic and then he slumped against her. He felt her kiss his shoulder softly and he could feel her warm breath tickling his flesh.

He pulled back to look her in the face and he couldn't help the expression of awe that crossed his features. She was amazing to him, pure and simple.

He brushed the hair from her face, some of it damply clinging, and he said, "God, how I love you."

She blushed and looked away, as much as she could while under him. Then she felt his hand bring her chin back up to meet his gaze as he repeated himself. "I really do. You know that, right?"

She nodded. "I know."

"Are you tired?" he asked.

For a minute she didn't say anything. She didn't want to tell him yes and have to stop their night of passionate lovemaking, but she was feeling kind of exhausted after all of the stress she'd been under and the traveling, and of course the incredible sex they'd just had.

"It's ok if you are," he told her.

"Just a little," she confessed.

"Then we'll sleep for now, love." He kissed her on the lips once more and pulled out of her. Then he pulled the covers over their bodies.

When they were covered and he had pulled her body to his she looked up at him and said, "But we'll do more of this tomorrow, right?"

"Definitely, kitten." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Now get some sleep. We've got plenty of time…" He ran his fingers through her golden hair and added, "All the time in the world really."

THE END… for now anyway!!


End file.
